| WHAT NOT TO SAY TO A HURTING PERSON |
| Job's friends only made it worse. |
| "Now you too have proved to be of no help." 6:21 |
| You are sitting in a hospital room, where the faint smell of antiseptic lingers and the sound of lowered voices rustles all around you. The medical prognosis of your friend is bleak. You've listened to your friend's anger and despair, and a welter of other emotions. Now it's your turn to reply. Everyone in the room waits for your response. What do you say to a suffering person? The book of Job gives page after page of examples. Job's three friends, finding him in despair, filled the air with high-sounding advice. But unfortunately they offer models of what not to say. Their main argument only made Job feel worse, and at the end God dismissed them all with a scowl. Who Were Job's Friends This book gives few details on time and place, but it presents Job as a very wealthy "sheik" of the Middle East. His three friends, from neighboring lands, were also prosperous and well respected. When they first saw Job, they wept aloud and sat with him on the ground, silent, for seven days and nights, overcome with grief (2:13). After Job finally broke the silence, each friend delivered a flowery speech on Job's dilemma. There are three cycles of speeches in all, with Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar taking turns, allowing Job to respond to each. Eliphaz, who led off, had strong and noble ideas. Bildad was briefer and slightly less sympathetic. Zophar (who did not speak in the third cycle) showed passion and fire. The friends seemed to crescendo in emotional intensity. In the first cycle (chapters 4-14), they showed hope of winning Job over to their point of view. In the second cycle (chapters 15-21), the speeches grew more severe |
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